Feeling Stuck

Teresa Barker

Another Basic White Girl Rant

Lately I just feel like I want to get up and go somewhere, travel, explore, live life – but being a full time college student it just feels unrealistic.

And it’s been getting me kind of bugged down that my days are filled with homework, studying, stress, and exams instead of doing something fun and new every day. It doesn’t feel like the lifestyle I want to be living right now.

But what can I do? What can we do? Since I’m assuming almost everyone reading this is either in school/working full time and doesn’t love what their day-to-day life looks like 24/7.

“But That’s Life”

As I was expressing these feelings to my boyfriend he basically said “Well, that’s just how life is. Most of us are primarily doing something we don’t totally love doing, and then working on something we do love on the side. That’s life, you know?

Which frustrated me.

So I went and talked to my mom since she is the wisest woman I know, and she essentially said the same thing as my boyfriend.

She said “I was getting a taste of real life” which triggered my millennial a$$ self because I aLrEadY aM eXpeRiEnCinG REAL LifE mOM.

I kind of wanted to yell “BUT IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY” at my mom & boyfriend when they told me that that’s life. How we can do whatever we want in life to be our best happiest selves and all that good stuff.

But, after getting off my soap box, I feel like I finally accept what they are telling me.

The 99%

Or, us. 99% percent of us can’t just drop everything we’re doing and be YouTubers, celebrities, actresses, singers, entrepreneurs, world travelers, etc.

Maybe one day we can transition from 9-5 to whatever our big, exciting dream is, but between now and then is this thing called living life. But for me, that big exciting dream can’t take up my life full-time yet because I have other responsibilities to fulfill first, like getting my college degree.

It feels crappy when you look at the 1% of people who do go after their big dreams without finishing school, or having another job, or whatever other large responsibility. Because it’s like, well if they did it, why can’t I do it that way?

I’m not saying you can’t, because who am I to say that?

What I am saying though, is that I need to be more realistic to my situation which is the more common situation: The one where most of us have one main thing to do, and then have things on the side.

So What Can We Do?

I’m not writing this to make us all feel bummed or that life sucks. I’m actually trying to do the opposite.

After feeling frustrated that my life isn’t what I exactly have in mind, I’m deciding to make it as close as I can for now.

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” – Theodore Roosevelt

So, what does that look like? For me it means writing on my website more. Taking more photographs and videos, even if it’s just of around my college campus or a quick 10-second snap of something silly.

It means getting as much homework as I can done by Friday so that I have the weekend to go on day trips to the city, or the beach, even in winter because the ocean is still beautiful and still humbles me down to the core when I just look and take it all in.

Driving to nowhere listening to music I used to love and that reminds me of who I am and who I want to be.

It means being more present and enjoying college for what it is. Even if the lecture is the most boring thing in the world, trying to make the person next to me laugh or try to leave the room having actually learned something. It means thinking about the information given to me and not just taking it at face value.

Being active to keep my mind and body in check and also because I LOVE running around because it feels like freedom.

It’s also complaining about school with my friends, and then actually getting to work to earn the best grades we can.

Mindset is Everything

As much as school stresses me out sometimes (all the time), I want to do my best to express gratitude. I’m here, and not everyone has parents who are behind them 100% to get a college degree. I’m fortunate, I have a great life, and it sucks that it’s too easy to forget that sometimes. A little gratitude will do a lot of good.

I really hope this resonates with anybody who’s also feeling this way. If I can go from feeling really crappy in a situation to feeling inspired and happy instead, so can you. I wish you guys all the best. 🙂

Much love as always
❤, Teresa


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