Do You Ever Just Need a “You” Day?
Well, the other day I needed a “me” day. And not the kind where I sit around and watch Netflix or have a mini spa day. I didn’t need to relax, I needed to do something I liked. Something I wanted to do. Something that makes me feel like me.
When I was a lot younger, that would have meant going outside with sneakers and a soccer ball. Nothing made me feel more like me than playing soccer. I started playing when I was 4 years old, so it’s sort of ingrained in me since the beginning. It’s a part of me. I haven’t been on a team though for years, and anytime I play now it’s solely recreational.
But, I’m almost 20.
I don’t really go out front of my house to kick my soccer ball against the curb anymore. And there’s a lot that goes on in the life of a college student/almost-20-year-old girl that can make you question who you are. I’m not the high-school version of myself anymore or the little girl in her soccer jersey. There’s a saying that goes something like “you are a combination of the 5 people you spend the most time with”, which brings up other questions which also make me challenge who I am: Do I like who I spend my time with? Are they good for me? Am I good for them? Also other things like: Who do I want to be? Are these people supporting me get there?
But besides all that, this saying also scares me. I don’t want to be 1/5 this person, 1/5 that person, and so on. I want to be 100% me. But how do I know if who I am and what I do is truly me? I feel like there’s only 2 things one can do to figure this out:
- Be alone. Get away from these people and be all in your own company. Your own thoughts and feelings, and stand in your truth.
- Do something you love. What would you do right then if you could do anything? And do it just for pure personal enjoyment?
Would you draw? Design clothes? Build something with your hands? Make videos? Pray? Get in the car and drive somewhere? Play a sport? Listen to music? Write? …What would you do?
So, What’s a Girl to Do?
Maybe it’s because I’m young, maybe it’s because I’m from an average suburban town, or maybe it’s because I’m obsessed with travel vloggers on YouTube and daydream about doing that, too. Whichever the reason or combination of them, I like to get up and go.
The other day anyone I would have wanted to see in the moment was busy, and I wanted to do something. So going back to my two steps above: I was already alone, and so I asked myself, “What would I do right now if I could do anything?”
Now, I’m not a famous person with an extraordinary life – like I said before, small suburban-towned-girl – so I didn’t think to myself anything like “take my private jet to Milan” or “cruise across the Mediterranean with Nate Archibald”, I was realistic (sorry, Nate).
I just wanted to get out of the house, see new scenery, and take my camera along to document it. And that’s exactly what I did.
Exploring New Places
I drove an hour one way, listening to some of my old favorite songs and some of my recent favorites. I got out of my car and used up two full batteries and filled a memory card on my camera with pictures and videos of the whole day. And I honestly just had a good time with myself, and it gave me a lot of time to think, about anything and everything.
My new thing is feeling like my life is good enough to document, and not necessarily for other people, but for myself. Which sounds counter-intuitive considering I’m sharing the memories on a public blog, but all of us need a little something bigger than ourselves to hold us accountable – even if it’s for a big dream or a beloved hobby.
And on that note, I hope you do something that makes you feel like you today.
Be your (best) self.